January 2010
8 posts
2 tags
Time Mellows All
You know, the kids at my school weren’t that bad. They had every opportunity to call me “Derek Fartz,” and believe me, I earned it, but they never did.
At least, not to my face.
Top Chefway: “Designers? Your challenge is to take a sheep’s stomach and turn it into a stylish purse. Please use the Bluefly offal wall thoughtfully.”
3 tags
Vomicles, Vol. 1
Vomit played a big role in my childhood. Some kids were scared of the monster in their closet; some were afraid of the dark; some were afraid of dogs. I was scared of vomiting. As you could imagine, this led to some stressful nights for me, since childhood is the second pukiest time in your life, right behind college. The following series of events would transpire seemingly every month. I’d...
Mission Statement
Hello. I am Derek Martz. I have started a blog, it seems. There is really very little reason for you to be reading this, but if you are, I really appreciate it. My aim is to share with you stories from my life, almost all embarrassing, as that covers most of my day, and musings on TV and movies. I hope you don’t find me to be obnoxious or repulsive. Let’s begin.